By Eva Hayward
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October 27, 2025
Managing parenting arrangements over the holidays can be one of the most stressful challenges for separated or divorced parents. So, how do you navigate this emotionally charged time while keeping your child’s best interests at the centre? In Australia, there are clear legal pathways to help families plan for school holidays, Christmas, and other special occasions. Whether you have formal parenting orders or an informal agreement, understanding your options (and your rights) can prevent last-minute disputes and protect your child’s wellbeing. Why Holidays Often Lead to Parenting Disputes The holiday season can amplify tension between separated parents, especially when there’s no clear agreement in place. Factors like travel, family traditions, work leave, and alternating Christmas Day access can lead to miscommunication or conflict. Add to that the emotional weight of holidays, and it’s easy to see why parenting arrangements during the holidays can quickly become complex. That’s why it’s important to start planning well before December, ideally in October or earlier, to avoid disputes and ensure stability for your child. What If You Already Have Parenting Orders? If you already have Parenting Orders in place, the first step is to check whether they include provisions for school holidays, public holidays, and special days like Christmas, New Years, or birthdays. These orders are legally binding and enforceable by the court. They typically specify: Where the child will live during school holidays How time is shared between parents over Christmas and other special occasions Pick-up/drop-off times and locations If one parent does not follow the Parenting Order, the other may apply to the court to enforce it. That said, it's always recommended to resolve any issues through negotiation or mediation first. What If You Only Have an Informal Parenting Plan? Not all families have court orders, and many rely on informal parenting plans. These can work well when both parents communicate effectively and put the child first. However, informal plans are not legally enforceable. If issues arise such as one parent withholding the child, refusing to cooperate with holiday travel plans, or changing their mind last minute, you may have little legal recourse unless the plan is formalised. In cases where there is regular conflict, or when travel is involved (e.g. interstate or overseas trips), it’s often safer to seek legal advice and consider formalising arrangements through Parenting Orders. Creating Parenting Arrangements for the Holidays The best parenting arrangements for holidays are those that are: Child-focused: prioritising stability and emotional wellbeing Clear: outlining dates, times, locations, and responsibilities Flexible: allowing for unexpected changes or emergencies Mutually agreed upon: minimising conflict Your holiday parenting arrangement might include: Splitting school holidays evenly Alternating Christmas Day and New Years Day each year Planning travel in advance (and getting written permission, if needed) Factoring in extended family events, birthdays, or religious holidays These agreements can be recorded in a Parenting Plan or filed with the court as Consent Orders if you want legal enforceability. Helpful Tips for Navigating the Season Smoothly Here are a few strategies we often recommend to clients to help reduce conflict and promote cooperation during the holidays: Start planning early: Avoid leaving arrangements until the last minute. Put everything in writing: This reduces confusion and creates accountability. Be flexible and child-focused: Consider what’s in your child’s best emotional and social interests. Use parenting apps or calendars: These tools can streamline communication. Get legal advice early: Especially if you anticipate any disputes. What If One Parent Doesn’t Cooperate? Sometimes, one parent may withhold the child, refuse to follow a plan, or deny reasonable requests for holiday travel. This can be extremely distressing especially when you’re trying to provide a joyful experience for your child. In such cases, it’s important to understand your rights. You may be able to: Apply for or modify Parenting Orders Seek urgent court intervention (in limited situations) Engage a lawyer to negotiate on your behalf If there’s no formal agreement, or the existing one is outdated or being ignored, it’s worth speaking with a family lawyer well before the holiday season begins. What About the Child’s Emotional Wellbeing? Amidst the logistics, it’s easy to overlook how separation and split arrangements may impact children, especially young ones. Feelings of guilt, confusion, and sadness can surface during the holidays, and it’s important for both parents to provide emotional stability. If you’d like to explore this further, this guide from Raising Children Network offers excellent insights into how children process separation and how parents can help them adjust. When Should You Speak to a Lawyer? While many parenting arrangements for the holidays can be worked out peacefully, there are clear signs that it’s time to get legal advice: You’re unable to reach agreement with the other parent One parent is threatening to withhold access You’re concerned about the child’s safety Travel plans are being blocked or ignored There's no formal plan in place and time is running out Be Prepared, Not Panicked The holidays don’t have to bring conflict or confusion. With the right planning and legal support if needed, it’s absolutely possible to create a positive experience for your child and reduce stress for everyone involved. 📞 Need Legal Help with Parenting Arrangements These Holidays? If you're struggling to put a clear plan in place or anticipate issues with parenting arrangements during the holidays, Janson Lawyers is here to help. Our experienced family law team can assist you in: Creating or reviewing Parenting Plans Applying for or updating Parenting Orders Navigating urgent or high-conflict situations Don’t wait until December, reach out to us now for practical, compassionate legal guidance tailored to your family’s needs. 👉 Contact Janson Lawyers today and take the stress out of the holiday season.